I wonder what people like about me? ... Probably my jugs.

 that was the colour of the sky >
acts though

clutch cream run, bro

Fifteen bottles of vodka? Yeah, that should do it.

do gnomes really live under mushrooms? cuz i've never seen one...

That actually took a while. I had to put, uh, more and more nickels into his handset, till he got used to the weight, and then I just... took 'em all out.

j is for jake
n is for nick
a is for awesome pawesome

Two queens on casino night, i'm gonna drop a duece on everyone

I find it offensive. Au natural, baby. That's how I like 'em. Swing low, sweet chariots.